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A few days ago Ashy wrote about anger. I was interested to hear what she had to say and what her experiences are with anger. However, a few days later she felt less (or not) angry, so I'm not sure if that means she'll be on to other topics.

I was interested in what Ashy was going (or is going) to say has due to my own issues with anger/rage. Starting about the age of 10 (around the time of my father's death) to well into my 30s, the dominant emotion that ruled me was anger. Actually I prefer to use the word "rage." I just had this omnipresent rage inside of me. I hated everything and everyone. A lot of this rage was fuels by dealing with my family. This feeling of rage also contributed to my depression, cycles of which I had been dealing with for most of my life.

Depression and rage had led me to be self destructive; there were times that I physically harmed myself, times where I lashed out at friends and family, times where I came dangerously close to ruining relationships. Finally I went looking for help.

I was fortunate enough to find someone who I would say saved me. It cost a lot but it was entirely worth it. She made me see that my anger was displaced. I would get angry almost preemptively. People wouldn't have to do anything for me to get angry. My anger would come out based on the assumption and expectation that I was going to get angry. She helped me examine why I was raging and whether or not this rage was productive and where it was being directed.

Once I started dealing with the world based on no expectations and no assumptions, I began to control my anger instead of my anger controlling me. Once I mastered my anger (as well as other emotions) I was able to discern which emotions were correct based on the situation and circumstance. If anger was warranted, then it made sense to get angry. Before that my anger really made no sense in terms of appropriateness, which made it counterproductive and even detrimental to my wellbeing.

So I don't believe that one shouldn't get angry, but one should be able to determine if anger is appropriate at any given time and whether the target is the appropriate target.

I know that some people think that controlling your emotions sounds robotic but it's not. Those people who seem emotionless, cold and robotic are actually not controlling their emotions. Their emotions are still controlling them. To me controlling your emotions means being able to express them in accordance with the situation and not letting them reduce you to incoherence.

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Things I would like to write about but feel like I don't have time nor the clearness of mind to do so:

• Anger/Rage
• Sexism
• Racism
• My cats
• My mini vacation
• Politics
• Poo

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OK, here's something: I haven't done any real work at the office since I moved into my new office. It's been weeks.

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Because there is so much to say, I can say nothing.

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