1:57 pm
He is Pretty Much Ready to Give It Up

Yoko asked what The Man thinks of all this (with my MIL).

Well, truth be told, he's not very happy with the situation. He's not feeling as attacked as I am. She's mostly channeling her anger toward me. Actually, she's not channeling it directly at me, just obliquely at me. This emotional tilt-a-whirl is wearing him out. He's leaning toward bringing her back to NJ because he's feeling stressed by her moods and complaining. I believe if he didn't have a deadline this weekend (work) he'd drive her back. I'd rather that he drive her back. See, if I drive her back, I believe in her mind she'll turn it into something like I am trying to get rid of her. But if The Man drives her back I think she will think of it more as he is trying to help her.

It's difficult for The Man. I don't want him to be in a position of mediator but that's what is happening to a degree. Also he wants to do what is right for his mother but it is driving him insane in the process. As much as we feel like we are in the best situation (financially, developmentally, spatially - as compared to his brothers) to care for her, we won't be effective caregivers if we are emotionally and physically drained. He's ready to hand over the reigns to his older brother who is willing to accept them. I'm ready too, but I don't believe his brother knows what he's getting into. But maybe I shouldn't care. I mean, I shouldn't make his brother's ignorance my problem. But I worry that his ignorance will detract from care giving.

See what is happening? I can't reconcile these feelings. One the one hand - doing the "right" and best thing for my MIL; on the other hand - doing the "right" and best thing for me.

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