And sometimes you stay up until the wee hours of the morning, watching TV, reading, internetting, anything so that you're too distracted to hear the voices in your head that want to destroy something, to hurt yourself, to hurt others. You muster all your willpower to ignore the desire to find something sharp or eat chemicals. And in the morning your eyelashes are glued together with the residue from crying yourself to sleep, your eyes so puffy that you can't even believe that eyelids can get that big.